why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
