Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
