i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he fucked my hip out of place.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
