i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
