so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
