Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
