The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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