my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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