Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My vagina just clenched in fear
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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