My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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