just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
