There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
