Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
True college students do jello shots in the library
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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