I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
and you said cock pushups were impossible
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize