My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
