tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
