i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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