summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
