I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
