and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
