when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
