hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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