I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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