No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
