just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
