I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
