I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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