aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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