hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
