True but thats because hes a fetus.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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