When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
