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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I am a bulletproof tiger!

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes

  (847): View more from Illinois

  And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.

  (319): View more from Iowa

  At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.

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• (516): View more from New York

  How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight

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• (234): View more from Ohio

  What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..

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