And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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