I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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