Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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