Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
