the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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