Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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