Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
