This girl is more easily done than said...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
