I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
