I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
