if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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