She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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