Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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