Do you still have your period?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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