so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
