i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
