Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
