Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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