If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
