My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I hope mine doesn't look like that
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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