i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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