I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
