Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
