Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
