I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
