youre lurking in front of me
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
