The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
