hell yes lets make some ravioli
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Randomize