yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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