hell yes lets make some ravioli
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize