Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
