It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
